Warning! Before you go any further this post will discuss food, emotional relationships with food, disordered eating, diets and diet culture. Today is the first Monday of the New Year. That means it is weight loss season online. Despite me having many positive healthy habits including walking, weight lifting, meditation, supplements, sleep hygiene and a […]
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Day 347 and Self Acceptance
Because a huge chunk of this writing exercise has been tagged under “emotional work” I’ve had the good fortune of chronicling much of my emotional growth this year. A huge theme? Learning to love myself. I know, it’s pretty core stuff. You are probably working on the same thing as me. Just because it’s fundamental […]
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Day 340 and Unconscious
I have reached the stage of my recovery process over my ankle injury that I am wondering what unconscious desire did I have to put myself in a position where I’d be reliant on others again. I’d only recently felt fully independent and healthy within the last few months. I had come to consider myself […]
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Day 235 and Grief
One of my Twitter mutuals suggested I explore the work of psychiatrist Francis Weller and his work on grief. I spent two hours with his lecture and another hour on the writing and exercises explored in this talk available on YouTube. I found his five gates of grief particularly helpful. I have been exploring my […]
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Day 229 and Under the Anger
They teach you in various therapy and 12 step programs that anger isn’t a real emotion. Anger is steam rising from true emotions like hurt and sadness. It’s easier to feel anger than to plumb the depths of our deeper vulnerabilities. It takes courage to admit we’ve been hurt. I’ve experienced anger over the entire […]
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Day 208 and Boundaries
It’s fairly common to struggle with boundaries. The desire to come through for everyone is strong, but not half so strong as the fear that if you set a firm boundary, then no one will accept you for where you are and what you want. What if love is only ever available on someone else’s […]
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Day 187 and Reactivity
I do not back down from a fight. I think quickly on my feet and enjoy pugilist types who are always looking to land a point or a punch. I think it is fun to scrap and throw a hook. But I increasingly find reactivity to be unappealing. The difference between enjoying a fight and […]
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Day 137 and Feeling Invaded
The line between feeling abandonment and invaded is thin for me. Being a child that often felt abandoned by my successful but distant father ingrained in me a fascinating pattern as an adult. I fear that I won’t be chosen, but when someone does choose me I easily tip right over into feeling invaded. I […]
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Day 133 and Emotional Shibboleths
When I was a kid I was terrified of drinking. A family member went to daily Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and my reaction to it was “I hope I never become an addict because this seems like a huge time commitment.” Little did I know that it’s one of the best possible uses of one’s time! […]
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Day 123 and Being Liked
I asked if folks cared if other people liked them today on Twitter. The results are surprisingly mixed on the issue. The four options were Yes, No, Yes But I Lie About It and No But I Lie About It. It is fascinating to see the breakdown in responses even a few hours into the […]