Chronic Disease Uncategorized

Day 372 and Pace Yourself

I was in an incredible groove yesterday. I’ve been letting go of the awful December I experienced and enjoying the new January energy. If you look at yesterday’s post I was absolutely in the zone. So I pushed myself thinking I can handle full capacity day. Mistakes were made in my enthusiasm. And well I’m probably in need of a rest. I over did it.

I often struggle with pacing and moderation. It’s important for me to remember that I’ve got a history as a workaholic. But I don’t want to feel as if I can’t push myself either. It’s the middle path I must walk. But it is hard to stay on it. I feel like every day I am sliding off the middle path right into the ditch. I’m getting better at getting myself back.

I used to be happy mailing elaborate detours. I’d take every exit on this metaphorical path in the past. But tonight I’m going to remind myself I’ve got a destination. And that is being responsible for keeping myself happy and healthy. So I’m going to get in bed and watch some TV and shitpost on Twitter


288 and Both Ends

Alas I cannot find the scene but there is a bit in Ted Lasso where the most cheerful football player Danny Rojas recounts a bout of food poisoning saying “I was sick out of both ends. The body truly is a miracle!”

It’s a pretty good joke because having food poisoning doesn’t feel terribly miraculous. The indignity of shitting and vomiting at the same time doesn’t invite existential awe for most people. I can say this with some certainty as I got to enjoy this particular miracle today. I’m not entirely sure if it was food poisoning, but I was juggling squatting and kneeling and I didn’t feel like my body was a miracle at all.

Maybe in hindsight I can recognize how impressive it is that my body has the capacity to rid itself of a poisonous toxin with such efficiency. But good grief is it miserable as it is happening.

I’ve debated if pain or nausea is worse. Pain is a tricky beast that consumes your capacity to live. But nausea can capture your attention more completely. You can tough out some kinds of pain, perhaps manage your capacity to tolerate it through mental gymnastics and medication. But nausea demands relief. When you have to expel a toxin, you better run as it may arrive before you arrive at the safety of a toilet.

I hate the feeling of being nauseous as there is simply little else you can do but let your body run whatever course is necessary. Which I suppose is a miracle. Maybe Danny Rojas is right. I feel absolutely fine right now. A full 10 hours of miraculous misery later I have recovered. Just in time to go to bed.


Consumed 1/6/21

Media: Lets be honest I sat in front of the television and watched Fox News in horror for most of the day.

I did some reading. Practically speaking the Republican Party is leaning more on disenfranchisement techniques. As a conservative and libertarian I would much prefer simply creating a more popular party platform instead of leaning in on minority rule and chicanery.

Food: As it is winter I’ve been eating fruit that is available like winter satsumas. I much prefer berries. So it was a thrill to get a vat of organic blueberries and raspberries for my Greek yogurt. Now that I eat breakfast consistently instead of a fasting (a long story for another time)