Categories
Aesthetics Culture

Day 2027 and Future Ehhh

I have now written more many days (in a row no less) as we there are years in our modern era. The future is here for me, you and the system of counting we use to pass the time.

Having passed the number of years in our modern era time keeping system in blog posts, I suppose I have arrived at my own future. It feels like any other day leaving aside the cacophony of feuds, beefs, pissing matches and geopolitical posturing

Those feel as if they will permanently drown out my thought process. They won’t. It’s just that I’m not enjoying a few of the more involved spats that are sucking up attention and causing rifts and chaos and bad blood. I’d comment except a few of them have reached existential levels of hostility so I just tweet in my occasional point.

So I’ll ignore the noise for the moment and sit with this idea of moving into some kind of future. As if every day wasn’t a continual process of the future turning into the present and passing on into history.

It’s funny that we settled on one trip around our sun Sol. It’d even funnier we restarted the count after the birth of Christ even though we had a reasonable grasp on a millennium of history before his birth.

Humans are so funny about time. We understand it’s lack of linearity in actuality and yet it’s cursed linearity in our own experience of it as humans never really dissipated. We live on the third rock from the sun and we go around it in our happy orbit as if this is turnout way of being.

I joke there I would like to die outside of Earth’s gravity well but it’s hard to say why leaving Terra seems like an important milestone for the future I’d like to arrive at before washing back into the entropy of our galactic background. I guess I’d just like to see a future beyond the horizon of my daily perceptions. I may live in Big Sky country but I know there are bigger things beyond my ken.

Categories
Culture Politics

Day 2025 and Right Speak On Repeat

Three years ago on this day my post for Day 929 was titled And Right Speak. As mid-July so often seems to be a time of illness for my family.

Our house was recovering from a surgery at time. Last year it was me (emergency surgery in Istanbul) but this particular year of 2023 it was Alex who got emergency oral sugery.

In between icing and liquids, we watched a number of comedies and thus the topic of right and “wrong think” came up. The culture war was having a flare up before the election season got going. We also watched Tetris which will cement your faith in the power of markets for good but also served as a useful warning for what is emerging in artificial intelligence.

It’s inspired me to look harder into how we are perversely seeking control and benefits for large corporations and political parties in our current race to regulate new technologies like crypto and artificial intelligence. If you want a hint as to where I’m worried look no further than Gary Gensler and reinforcement learning for artificial intelligence alignment. And yes I’m making bets to that effect.

Julie Fredrickson on “Day 929 and Right Speak”

I’m glad I spoke up at the time as I took action both against the Gensler reign of regulatory ambiguity as well as forging ahead on the right to compute. Current discourse has taken a turn for the worse as talk of Finra entities and protectionism of frontier models for national security reasons. It’s always the banking crowd getting us into trouble with merging our capabilities into thr future slipstream. Wish we could convince them they are wrong.

Categories
Culture Reading

Day 2024 and Almost Present Day

I guess I am going push past two thousand days of writing, come hell or high water. It’s funny that three years ago on day 804 (March 15 2023) I was blogging that all written content will be made by artificial intelligence soon.

In the post, I said I planned to keep writing the manual old fashioned way on this blogs and so I have. I appreciate the value of a process where one thinks, occasionally plans, writes, erases, writes some more and occasionally deviate wildly from the plan as you learn what you want to write about. I learn something from every attempt even the shitty ones.

Fun fact, that is the day I met Isaiah Taylor of Valar Atomics. I believed so much in the coming demand for energy and compute that I backed him. He’s doing very well. And I am excited that I look intelligent and am rewarded for it.

And while the tools the AI labs have delivered, I am still writing by hand with little machine intelligence involved in the act of my own thinking my writing philosophy.

The tools help me achieve more in other areas of life from passing policy to running silly experiments to aiding my own health journey. But I still write daily. That’s my present.

Sure every thought involved some research which is much easier now. I can search for a link I only remember in context much faster now. I may post a synopsis from an LLM for information conveying purposes (always labeled) but I’m generally on here to think for myself and not to convince an audience.

I do think being accountable to ones thinking can involve public debate, statements of belief and revisions of past opinions as information changes.

I am excited that others see the value in working those muscles. It’s always been the norm of startups to chronicle things publicly in the hopes that your answer might help someone else. It’s our way and I hope to take that from present day to near future.

Categories
Community Culture Internet Culture

Day 2023 and The Signal

And I have nothing to say today as I have spent my entire day inside of chats making sure The Signal flows. From corporations and journalists to friends and even a large law firm there was a lot of coordination that happened around my nodes. The spice must flow? Nah the Signal must transmit.

It is getting harder and harder to get through to anyone. Dont be fooled by former signs of productive communication. No one uses email anymore except the LinkedIn class. They might not even be writing their own emails either. Are they writing their own posts? That’s unclear to me as well.

If that’s a dead corpus of communication amongst people running stolid corporate offices, then what else is a dead medium we think is living? I shudder to consider that the limits of the attention economy might be the actual crash we should worry about and not normal data points like treasury yields or Brent crude.

The office set may or may not be aware of the lossy amounts of unreality percolating through their various channels of coordination. It’s possible this happened to Slack as well but I haven’t actually used Slack since….2018? I genuinely don’t know.

It’s entirely possible that Twitter, having wrapped up its own experiment in Dead Internet Theory knows more about this than anyone else. What constitutes a live player space anymore. What percentage of humans in the loop constitutes living?

I do begrudge the Yancy Strickland set who decided the Dark Forest Theory was a valid interpretation of not exactly adversarial forces, but certainly subsections of cultural influence who didn’t like his kind and wanted him to know.

Decamping from the public sphere for cozy spaces is fine for regular people but anyone attempting to work within the wider sphere has to grapple with the dangers at some point. Usually when you have something to sell.

So that’s all for today. I fed the Signal. I’m not entirely healthy. I don’t know when that is going to fix itself. Fingers crossed as I thought I’d be back at full capacity by now.

Categories
Chronic Disease Internet Culture Media

Day 2019 and Thot Police

I don’t have much in me today as I spent most of my energy on showering. What a depressing thought.

Showering is what’s considered a “vasodilating activity” and that can cause problems if you run it too hot. It can make dysautonomia (if you don’t know what that is how did you make it through Covid19) go wild and just generally makes me realize I’ve got some orthostatic issues happening during this flare.

Given that I’m having a fun high BPM couple of does, I got dizzy and that spirals into a migraine and then my whole system gears up and ooops I’m curled into a ball scrolling and texting.

It being 100 degrees in Montana today means that we’d need to run a water cooler not a water heater to get a comfortable lukeroom temperature. Our sauna is being in the shade of the barn is currently cooler than the outdoors. Just funny times but hey I’m doing my bit for the environment.

Despite the embarrassment of needing to sit down to scrub up, I thought I hoy through it with as little energy exertion as I could manage. And I still felt like shit.

So I figured why not compound it with more time on Twitter. It’s true that the website is for bored billionaires and the deranged and sometimes that’s a Venn diagram.

That’s really more of a loving joke as I enjoy the “hell site” even if it has positively allergic reactions to women posting pictures of themselves. Guess everyone is overheated amirite. Oooowoooogaah.

To be fair seeing a website for witticisms and breaking news become just another OnlyFans funnel stop is irritating. I pay up to the big man hoping it won’t get that bad. It’s got network effects for technologists and we have work to do.

And yet the platform most of us are marooned on is showing us it’s thot police time pretty much constantly from the media to the peanut gallery. If that poor founder who made a robot hand so good that Wired that immediately sexualized it, maybe the theory that we are in for a Puritan reactionary period is both correct and a bit overdue.

Too much signaling of sexual availability and hitting a paywall is just a funny way for that to happen. Like objectively access was always paywalled by culture and contracts. But I can see being indignant about it pervading all social spaces.

Heck if the robotic use is half as good as Wired made his work sound maybe we can solve more pressing problems like having a robot scrub down our Boomers & chronically ill so cleaning up doesn’t kill us? It can probably hold a loofah without anything going wrong right? And nobody use it for anything too nasty if it can’t consent. Don’t prove Wired right. May Lady G rest in power.

Categories
Biohacking Chronic Disease

Day 2018 and Getting in Writing Reps In My Pressure Tube

I am a wreck. But now that everyone is discovering the value of daily writing (get in the repetition before the AI harms your skill), I have to gut it out as usual when I’ve got little in the way of cogent thought.

In an attempt to recover, I’m in a hyperbaric chamber sucking back oxygen under two atmospheres of pressure and I still can’t get my heart to stop pounding. Damned drugs.

It’s 100 degrees outside which probably doesn’t, help but even with oxygen, an eye mask, a soothing Endel NSDR session delivered by Bose noise canceling headphones, I could not get my heart rate under 100 consistently.

I wish I had a better theory than having over extended myself by traveling from mountain to swamp and desert to sea and then back again. Work and family call me, and they are not ever in the same place. It’s been a season of enormous wins but the price is being paid now.

It would seem that I’ve found my way to my first full system cascade failure since I went off my IL-17 inhibitor and onto a peptide regime with hormonal support.

I’ve had four glorious months of being able to act like I’m a reasonably healthy woman. Then I returned from a Fourth of July celebration in Utah to Montana and immediately fell apart.

My physician suggested the dreaded prednisone as well as a cycle of doxycycline. Goody goody gum drops. Both notably raise resting heart rates.

Want to see how bad? Get a look at this chart of horror and pharmaceutical malice. I woke up around my usual time and my heart has been pounding all night (no wonder prednisone makes people go nuts), my HRV registered as an 8 (average at my age should be 40-50) and this only registered as kinda in the green because I’ve had a week of it being in the mid teens. So yeah what the actual fuck. What do I even have?

The worst Whoop recording I’ve ever had

Maybe I just need to quietly let the steroids tamp down any inflammation and let the antibiotics kill off any bacteria that have decided to colonize me but I won’t lie I am terrified that those good months were a fleeting moment and this is my new normal.

Thankfully I know in my rational mind I’m in my luteal phase of hormonal horrors and I’ll get bloodwork as soon as my menstrual cycle lets me bleed.

It’s likely I’ll be in need of some new hormonal pellets sliced into my ass and any infection or inflammation is just a function of having gone a bit too hard and too fast in my glee that I can feel good again.

Categories
Aesthetics Culture Media

Day 2017 and Pangram Pansies

There’s a new genre of moralist who likes to shake their finger at you if they believe you’ve used artificial intelligence in the making or editing of your written product.

I find this particularly amusing because I was raised in a hippie family with all kinds of esoteric ideas on the importance of reading and being read to as a child, as well as the dangers of too much screen time.

I believe it served me well and panic essays in the Atlantic notwithstanding, my family was always a member of the reading class. They weren’t fancy but they loved books. We went to the library. My father always brought home a “dad book” after a business trip that he’d give me. Probably why I love science fiction so much as Michael Crichton was his favorite

My mother was more of a theorist and she didn’t hesitate to introduce theory into practice as I got older. Marshall McLuhan and Neil Postman were the stuff of dinner table conversation, although usually in reference to why I could not watch Star Trek later that evening. Sometimes she’d give in.

So when I say that I come by my need to write honestly, it’s because many of the startup families who believed both in the liberatory potential of computers and leans heavily on the “computer as a bicycle metaphor” in that computers are tools extending our capacity just as bikes extend the human range. Now here is a surprise for you I also using a dictation application right now. Oh no what purity test have I failed? None as far as I am concerned.

I rarely dictate because, generally speaking, this is a diary, which is, of course, the original form factor of blogging from the early days of chronological feeds and personal websites. It’s my space and I only cheat myself if I don’t use it to benefit my own understanding of my thinking.

What point would there be in mere dictation? That is for notes. Writing is one of the better methods through which you learn to analyze a subject. Others exist, but this can be done alone. Committing a thought to a public forum under one’s own name, even in a private blog, shows you taking accountability for thinking and learning.

I write a blog because I want to get my thinking on a subject down on paper. Maybe from there I either wish convince somebody else that I am right or find somebody else who share my interest on a particular topic. I do this for myself and also so others can know what I am about. Together we may learn something just as in the past peers exchanged letters. Or in my era, emails and message board responses

Back then, you might share particular esoterica or hobbies with others who might not have the same interest as you did because you lived in a small town or in a relatively remote area where nobody else had the passion that you did. For instance, say, libertarian space mining or Warhammer.

I know it’s funny that now I mostly talk about compute policy and nuclear energy along with musings on aesthetics, semiotics, geopolitical chatter and whatever the styles sections are up to when I remain such a nerd. But that’s why the internet is a human space in the first place.

So go ahead and see what parts of this look AI generated if you care. I used Wispr Flow. I have no idea how orality has made its way into my literacy. But by putting it out into the world, it becomes part of my written tradition, and maybe that’s useful someday.

Categories
Aesthetics Reading

Day 2016 and Cracks in Timelines and Stratum Corneum

I write every post on my blog with my own mind and my own hands. I type on my phone whatever my mind has managed to organize on a given day. It’s a ritual for thinking more than an attempt at being read by others.

Funnily enough, on Day 804 aka March 15 2023 (the day I first met Isaiah) I wrote about how AI writing seemed primed to over take all natural human brain brewed artisanal content.

Three years later Isaiah’s reactor went critical, I’m still writing my human brain derived content, and timelines from Twitter to Substack are drowning in pithy highly readable artificial intelligence written content. Poor Will Manidis has jokingly taken responsibility but feed slop was coming one way or mother.

It does make a chronological feed as a timeline a much better choice for personal use as algorithmic buffing of content will make a night river of a platform into a million tributary parts. The feeds crack as the water of thought are routed elsewhere.

This metaphor has clearly reached me as yesterday I went to some effort to do a full shower, exfoliate, shave and wash routine with new products meant to improve my epidermis from tip to toe. I ended up giving myself a number of itchy red notches and spent the evening slathering on lotions and cortisone creams.

My stratum corneum cracked just as my timeline did. The moisture in my skin is we sucked out by acids and scrubbing. I’d taken off a few dead skin cells and irritated the rest.

Just like the insights and prose have been buffed and pumiced to a flat surface of legibility in our feeds. Nothing was buoyant or smooth. It was flat with the occasional warm to the touch but of discomfort. Slopping on occlusives might help my skin but I have no fix for the timeline.

Categories
Aesthetics Biohacking

Day 2015 and Please Stop Me Now

I am an enormous fan of Freddie Mercury thanks to my mother’s excellent collection of classic rock. You’d be surprised at how much I’ve committed to memory from the core cannon and deep cuts that span the Beatles to Cream & Edgar Winter to Led Zeppelin.

I’m not much for karaoke, though I once tweaked my neck doing a full head bang hair whipping, Wayne’s World style, for a friend’s birthday party.

Knowing all the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody is clutch in these circumstances. As can go in, do a full rock opera and ease yourself out of any further obligation to participate saying “oh I had easily three times the stage time as everyone else I’ll just cheer you on!” Pro-tip for group activities amirite?

Fun fact from Reddit.
During the Bohemian Rhapsody scene in ‘Wayne’s World’ (1992) Mike Myers and Dana Carvey are both grimacing in pain while headbanging. The director, Penelope Spheeris, shot the scene for approximately five hours. Basically how I felt after my friends birthday karaoke.

Now I don’t always have the common sense to stop myself. I am a real mess at the moment as I have finally come home and I can let the whirlwind dissipate for a moment

Strained sleep with upsettingly high strain but at least it’s restorative. Now if only I could get my resting heart rate down and my HRV back up I’d be right as rain.

My Whoop is sending up red recoveries with a week of barely better yellows, as I spent a bit too much of the last few months going full Freddie Mercury “Don’t Stop Me Now” as not only was I having a real good time but I had a lot to get done.

Tonight, I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive
And the world, I’ll turn it inside out, yeah
I’m floatin’ around in ecstasy
So don’t stop me now
Don’t stop me

‘Cause I’m havin’ a good time
Havin’ a good time

It’s nice when you work and your life are aligned such that every step feels like you can only accelerate. But if we are sticking to thermodynamics, l may have allowed a little more entropy into the equation.

So give me some time to sleep it off. I’ll be in bed trying to keep my heat rate down. But being in the red won’t stop me forever. It’ll just stop me for a little bit.

Categories
Aesthetics Travel

Day 2013 and Glands, Tans & Buying Glam

My head hurts, I’ve lost my voice and I’m achy everywhere but I’ve got something resembling a tan and my lymph glands are only a little swollen.

Is this is the halfway point of the summer season I feel like I’m doing it rather well. That is rare for me as summer is traditionally my most challenging season but I seem to be doing rather well despite the workload and constant travel.

In a fun coincidence of scheduling, I shared a blue moon at the end of May in Greece and the waning of the full strawberry moon in Utah with same person.

A blue full moon and a sailboat light

What a joy to be half a world away and still find a way to come together. From the Ionian Sea to the high alpine skiing mountains of Utah you are never too far away from a friend.

I’m back in Montana and hoping I’ll enjoy a reasonable chunk of time here as I do feel the strain on my body. I don’t think I am sick but I am struggling to with fatigue and the annoyance of a throat so sore from talking that I should probably commit to a silent retreat for a few days.

So I’ll sip my slippery elm tea and browse the cosmetic sales for skincare (and a little makeup splurge to celebrate the big wins) and get myself back on a routine. I’d like to put on more muscle mass and improve my cardiovascular fitness now that I have more capacity.

If I can manage conference after conference, gala and launch demonstrations along with my workload and time with friends then surely I can add in some overhead presses and a plyometrics right? I did a short but brisk mile and half circuit around the neighboring pastures. And then I got back into bed.