Humans crave novelty but require stability. I guess this was probably fine when the worst we could do was gossip and club each other on the head. But giving humanity mass scale has been a mixed bag. Our constant dopamine seeking behaviors are piling up negative externalities as any individual can throw chaos energy out […]
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Crash landing my life into a medical sabbatical really fucked up my headspace. Around two years ago I was beginning to realize I didn’t have a choice in accepting that I was sick. My identity as an always on, gets things done, reliable, entrepreneur got replaced by an entirely new self conception as “ill person” […]
Day 112 and Unknowability
Human minds seem to prefer predictably. The back brain craves knowing what is coming even as our flighty consciousness seeks novelty. Talk about a tension that sucks. We’ve all seem just now much this is a recipe for misery when you live in a world with no predictability but easy access to low stakes novelty […]
Day 110 and Weed
As it is 4/20 I thought I’d share how introduced THC into my medical regimen. I suffer from an autoimmune condition that manifests as inflammation in my upper spine making me an excellent candidate for medical marijuana. As a libertarian I’m pro-legalization but I likely wouldn’t have chosen to use THC recreationally except that it […]
Day 104 and Having HP
When you live with a chronic illness a certain element of unpredictability is always there. As I’m settle into having a case that is under control (what I wouldn’t give for a term like remission but autoimmune doesn’t get terms like that) I find my body is more reliable. More days are good days and […]
Day 100 and Rest Days
When I first set out to write everyday I didn’t set a goal. I think in my mind I meant it as a month long exercise to create more. Now I’ve got no idea what will eventually break the streak. I’m sure when it happens (something is bound to occur) I’ll be frustrated and I […]
Day 95 and Context Collapse
I have reasonably high social intelligence. Yes I’m willing to flex on this. I’m able to suss out the contours of most situations quickly and code switch my language, aesthetic and context cues. Sure as a white woman in America’s vast “upper middle class” many social interactions and norms are designed for my comfort. But […]
Day 93 and Distrust
I’m feeling pretty good these days. I’ve written about my progress and my biohacking. But one area I’m not improving in is consistency. Despite meticulous record keeping and a routine I maintain assiduously, it’s almost impossible to predict when I’ll have a bad day. They appear at random! Most days were bad days the past […]
Day 91 and Biohacking
I’m getting the sense that a lot more people suffer from general poor health than we let on. When I discuss my own struggles my inbox blows up with fellow suffers of autoimmune conditions. People are fatigued, in pain, mentally sluggish and often struggle with adjacent symptoms like chronic inflammation or gastrointestinal ailments. Please know […]
Day 76 and Lost Time
I didn’t used to keep much of a routine. Startup life and Manhattan nightlife made for a lot of variability in my days. But the trick of losing your body to sickness means that you don’t need the novelty of nightclubs or the emotional highs of startup life. My body now provides all kinds of […]