Tag: Energy

Categories
Medical

Day 361 and Once More For The Cheap Seats

I was starting to feel pretty good on Saturday and Sunday. I thought maybe I’d kicked the worst of my breakthrough Omicron Covid case. I went down a crypto rabbit hole with the SOS token airdrop and it’s implications. Then on Sunday I was getting excited to launch a fun new project my bff Phil and I have been working on called Vibrations on Solana.

But I had a difficult night. I got woken up multiple times with tachycardia. I tried meditating at 1am. An hour later I was back at 140bpm while asleep. The heart rate alert woke me up. I tried some Wim Hoff breathing. Still couldn’t get it down. I took an Ativan I was getting so concerned. That knocked me out but it didn’t do much for my heart rate. I woke up to these readings on my Whoop.

Whoop capturing 125bpm heart rate at rest. Elevated respiratory rate. Elevated RHR

It seemed clear that all the fun and games I had planned for the day were not going to manifest. I went to get additional readings. My pulse oximeter gave me a 94 reading which isn’t awful but it’s not great either. I then went to Welltory and did a long HRV reading. So I’ll be in bed if you need me.

Welltory reading of my HRV suggests my Covid case requires rest
Categories
Finance Internet Culture

Day 359 and SOS

A few days ago I wondered what project or cultural artifact was going to grab our mutual cultural attention during the Christmas vacation week? Something always does. One year it was fucking Quora if you can believe it. This year I’m ready to call it for $SOS at least if you are into Web3 and crypto economics.

On fucking Christmas Day these degenerates drop a contract to let anyone claim tokens who has ever purchased an NFT on the OpenSea marketplace. And people went ape shit. Suddenly someone had taken all the visible contributions from OpenSea and manifested them in a token and said this is ours. Fuck corporate dominance of profit your users hold the real value. I’ve never seen anything so ballsy. Last year when Wall Street Bets decided to taken on hedge funds I felt like we had entered a new era of community behavior.

An emergent community has swum up from the sea and eaten the lunch of a supposedly greedy centralized platform. Web3 just attacked what we didn’t even realize was Web2. A crypto darling turned parable for centralization in the space of a few years. $SOS seemed to say community owned this value all along. The airdrop showed us the balance of power in a web3 community if we all work together. I’m so impressed by the sheer cultural force of the statement. It could all go horribly awry but god damn if it isn’t utopian.

I’ve got not fucking clue if this is a legitimate contract or not. I’m not going to FUD. But from a first principles, we are building a new internet where the incentives of the users align with the technology statement, then this is quite a shot across the bow. Also I’m pretty sure this makes it harder for OpenSea to IPO if their user base is in open rebellion against who gets rewarded.

The thing is I believe Devin to be a well meaning and genuinely forward thinking guy. He’s a terrific communicator that set out with the utopian intentions that we all do. But we are moving so fast with breaking cultural norms and acceptable societal level rewards for contributions to an economy that I think we might have just spiraled up to some kind of cultural singularity. Crypto might just be moving that fast. Whatever happens this is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen from a startup. Score one for the anonymous degens.

Categories
Medical

Day 358 and Hanging On

I was feeling pretty good this morning. Like maybe I had finally kicked Covid after four days of moderate symptoms. But as the evening comes in I feel tired, achy and a bit disoriented. I’m swiftly deteriorating into some kind of sundown syndrome. I just want to go to sleep and wake up feeling better. I haven’t cleared Covid just yet.

I’ve been waiting a few hours, hoping I’d feel well enough to write something coherent. But it doesn’t seem to be lifting. So I’m left with chronicling where I’m at. I did some work this morning wrapping up some deals that we are trying to close before the end of the year. There is something amusing to me about working on Christmas Eve while sick with Covid. It’s like I’ve got an inverse of my very festive Christmas last year. This year instead of focusing on home and the holiday I’m focused on the future and the outside world.

Aside from feeling shitty I’m in a great place. Deals are coming together. I’m optimistic about how I’ll spend my time next year. I’m happy about so much of what I’m being given. So feeling sick on Christmas Eve isn’t so bad. Sure I’ve got a killer headache. And my whole body hurts. But I’ll make it through.

Categories
Medical

Day 356 and Sleep

I wonder if people who are unconvinced by a mind body connection have simply never been sick. I’ve never been convinced by clean theories that suggest our mind is somehow independent of our flesh. I say this today mostly because the needs of my body are very much privileged over that of my mind.

I happen to have Covid. It seems the easily transmissible omicron variant has found it’s way to me. And I’m quite tired. I thought I felt fine this morning but my Whoop suggested an alternate theory.

A screen capture from a Whoop tracker showing my respiratory rate is elevated.

I took it easy today but I still took a phone call and a meeting. I felt fine. And then as I attempted to stay awake for a movie for a restful afternoon I just simple didn’t. My body overcame any intentional acts from my mind. It was time to rest. I was in a phase of recovery. It’s wise to honor that.

Categories
Medical

Day 355 and Not That Bad

I made one of the rookie mistakes in coping with illness today. Yesterday I came back positive for Covid. It was pretty mild. So I didn’t cancel any of my appointments. I went to therapy. I still had an on and off work day with a few obligations. And now I feel like shit

Basically I ignored my own advice. I wrote a post about how to effectively beat back an illness in a post I called “How to be sick.” And just a few days later I forgot everything I said. I feel very on my own bullshit.

My experience of Omicron has been quite mild. It feels much more like an inflammatory condition than a respiratory one for me. My whole body aches. I ran a slight fever. I’m exhausted. And I have awful brain fog. Like my normal speed of thinking has slowed ten fold. I can still recall the topics or even general contours of what I want to say. But then I can’t quite get the specifics to form in my mind. It really is like living through a fog.

So I need to wrap this post up and go to bed. I am sick. It’s mild but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. So I need to treat myself gentle and make sure I help myself get well. If you get sick don’t push yourself. It will only extend the experience.

Categories
Chronic Disease Medical

Day 352 and How To Be Sick

Everyone I know seems to be sick right now. My husband is sick. My media friends are sick. My finance friends are sick. My random internet friends are sick. No one is in bad shape but everyone is miserable. If Omicron is as transmissible as it seems you’ve got a good shot at getting sick in the next month or two even if you are fully vaccinated. Don’t panic. I’ve a ton of experience being sick so let me give you some advice on how to get through the misery in one piece. Being sick is an opportunity. You’ve got this.

Drink lots of water: basic but crucial. Down a full glass of water every few hours. Set a timer. Being hydrated is key to your body flushing out gnarly stuff.

Stay in bed: your body has diverted all your energy to your immune system to fight off invaders. You are going to be tired. Don’t try to overcome it with stimulants like coffee. That’s just going to make it worse. Accept that you won’t be as focused or as energetic. The less you try to push through it the faster you get better. Cancel everything. If you want to get back to normal the fastest path to that is letting yourself heal.

Intake lots of nutrients: your body needs all the help it can get. Now is not the time to restrict calories. Eat vegetables and high quality protein. Eat healthy fats. Take a multivitamin. Consider taking Vitamin C and Zinc. Drink broth as it keeps you hydrated and gives you nutrients. Here are some ideas from the Cleveland Clinic.

Take care of yourself: tempting as it may be to order junk food, binge watch tv and doom scroll social media, you need to build up your vitality and constitution. This is what had worked for me. Being in bed tightens up your muscles so do a basic stretching routine for ten minutes twice a day. Don’t overstimulate your autonomic nervous system. Go out in the sun and keep your circadian rhythm normal. Meditate even if it’s only a few minutes. Do deep breathing. Take a hot shower even if you can’t stand up for too long. Brush your teeth and your hair. Talk to to your family and let them know how love them. If you have the strength do something artistic or creative. You must maintain your humanity. That means finding rhythms that build you up.

Accept Help: being sick robs you of many of the building blocks of modern identity. If you have built your self acceptance on concepts like hard work and being productive, it’s going to make you feel shitty when you are in bed and can’t do anything. Being sick is a reminder that self acceptance is the key to happiness. You are more than what you do or produce. You are a human being worthy of love simply because you exist. At your weakest and your sickest you are as worthy as at your best. Be ready to accept help from others so you can accept yourself. Be ready to be cared for by others. You do not owe anyone anything. Your existence is enough.

Chances are you are used to feeling healthy. Being sick is going to rock your reality. But you will overcome it. Cultivating empathy for yourself is the best path for doing so. Don’t judge yourself. Care for yourself as if you were your own child. Without judgement. Good luck!

Categories
Biohacking Emotional Work

Day 349 and Vibing

When I injured my ankle two weeks ago I was angry. I had been so focused on doing things. Every day was packed with obligations and routines. Walking, supplements, weight lifting, stretching and appointments all took up huge portions of my day. So I wasn’t exactly thrilled to add in an entirely new thing to my day. I was worried it would set me back on my progress both at work and with my health.

And yet it’s been delightful. I’ve just kind of let things happen. I’ve been in bed. I haven’t been pushing to get in steps or raise my heart rate. I’m just vibing. Whatever the day brings I’m taking it in.

And I feel fantastic. My mind is sharp. I’m moving forward all the projects and investments I prioritize. It feels like by pulling back on all my other routines because I needed my ligaments to heal I’ve suddenly improved everything else in my life. It feels like life is fun again. That I’m spending my time on things that make me happy.

It reminds me of a favorite line from my therapist. “Be a human being not a human doing.” Was it possible in my efforts to improve my resting heart rate or put gains on my lifts that I was affecting my happiness and my intellect? By trying to improve myself had I been making myself miserable? Once again I’m learning that just letting myself live is the best way to achieve my goals. If you feel stuck maybe just chill and vibe for a bit?

Categories
Emotional Work

Day 345 and Trust

I’ve not always been accepting of my own weaknesses. Instead of focusing on how well I can hone my super powers, I’ve occasionally fixated on where I lack innate talent. I’m not particularly adapt at operations or logistics but I feel bad about it. I am however genuinely top tier when it comes to narrative & attention. Somehow I don’t feel equally good about this.

I’ve tried to work in teams where my talents & weaknesses are balanced out by others. I like teamwork now in a way I didn’t fully appreciate when I was younger. I’ve learned to trust my own value. And I am able to emotionally trust the people around me.

The psychological safety that comes from trusting yourself and others is a lifelong process. Even a few years ago I’d struggle to not compulsively overwork to overcome my weaknesses. When I should have been honing my unique talents.

I’ve got an opportunity over the next few days to really trust one of my teams. We’ve got a deliverable that isn’t in my area but I’d crucial to success. I could spend my extra energy worrying over it and making an attempt to contribute just so I felt useful. Or I can emotionally let go and appreciate the trust I have in others.

Categories
Emotional Work

Day 344 and That Was Easy

I’ve been off my feet all week because of my ankle injury. That means no weightlifting, no long walks, no breaks to raise my heart rate once an hour. I’ve been in a state of rest and recovery. And my mind has never felt sharper.

My quantified self data suggests I’m more recovered than I’ve been the entire year. My resting heart rate is a full 40% better than average. I’ve added in a few new routines to facilitate healing including infrared sauna, applied hot and cold therapy, percussive massage and electro-stimulation. But I really think it’s all the extra rest I’ve been getting.

I can feel it in my desire to do frivolous things just for the joy of it. But I can also feel it in my skyrocketing motivation. Some long term projects are coming into fruition in ways that not only meet my goals but wildly exceed them. Like all of the power I’ve ever imagined having is completely reasonable. I don’t even feel like I need to suffer for it. It’s there because I have joyfully brought myself it it.

It’s quite possible the lesson I should take away from this is that constantly pushing myself for improvements through hard work and pain is completely the wrong approach to getting what I want. That real power comes from letting yourself live within the rhythms of your own life. Letting what you want flow through you means sometimes it will be easy. And that’s ok too. Let yourself succeed with the power of your own unique approach. It’s the most differentiated thing. And difference is always an edge.

Categories
Biohacking Chronic Disease Medical

Day 343 and You Don’t Have to Feel This Way

Modernity is tough on our bodies. We sit hunched over glowing screens for hours and we call that necessary. We rationalize ignoring our meat sacks as logical. Cartesian logic like “I think therefor I am” is a convenient an excuse for disembodied living. Except eventually it will catch up to you. Maybe not for a while but it will. Maybe you’ve noticed feeling shittier recently.

I’ll tell you how it starts. You feel sluggish. So you stimulate your system. Maybe you drink more coffee and eat more sugar. Then you notice you don’t sleep as well. That makes you even more tired. So you stop moving as much as you did before. You don’t track any of this so it’s hard to notice till the effects compound. Then you notice aches and pains and you think well maybe it is just getting older. Maybe you start to have a back problem and friends tell you they have the same problem.

It’s the slow downward spiral of misery and it’s probably happening to you. It happened to me fast and hard but the path is the same. We accept feeling badly. We accept that deterioration is a fact of life because we’ve got to work and take care of the kids (if you are lucky enough to afford a family). We just accept lower standards of living because we get worn down.

It just doesn’t have to be like that. This shitty quality of life doesn’t have to be the new normal. Fuck the doctors who can’t diagnose you. It’s systemic. You’d be lucky to find one things so broken because it’s a place to start. Most people are justly subtly broken. But it’s not reached the acute stage where our medical system finally kicks in. Doesn’t mean what you feel isn’t real.

The shitty part is next. You’ve got to do the work. You’ve got to change your life. No doctor or health practitioner is coming to save you. They an give you a piece of the puzzle but you’ve got to assemble it. If you commit to getting well it’s going to cost you willpower. Because the path out is hard work. It’s nutrition, sleep, lifting heavy things, going outside everyday, taking supplements and vitamins, meditation and mindfulness. Frankly it’s a lot. I spend a third of my day on it so I can live what’s left well. But I no longer feel subtly shitty all the damn time.