I hate when I am made to feel it is embarrassed and ashamed that I have a disability. And German’s current energy policy has me feeling like my medical needs are something of which I should me ashamed. And that’s bullshit. It’s a policy failure. I have ankylosing spondylitis (an inflammatory condition in my spine) […]
Search: “Itchy”
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Day 880 and Pollen
It seems as if I exposed myself to a bit too much pollen in my wandering yesterday but I’m so itchy I’ve reconsidering whether pain is more or less all-absorbing than itching. So I am giving myself permission to take it nice and easy on this blog post today. This morning I ordered an enormous […]
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Day 879 and Out of Home
It’s a holiday in America and Germany today, so this morning I went out to do some semiotic spotting like an elder millennial Cayce Pollard. Just kidding (not kidding). I went to have breakfast at an outdoor cafe and went for a long walk. All imagery shown in this post was captured in service of […]
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Day 873 and Commitments
I have two conflicting commitments at the moment. Both are with people who I’d consider intimate relationships with as much access to my inner life as my closest confidants. I made the decision to show up for both parties last week and this week. And while I don’t regret my decision at all, the choice […]
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Day 737 and Jet Lag
Like most people I’ve got my delusions. I am convinced I handled jet lag well. But when I look at my writing history and I’ve written about having jet lag six times I had an absolutely chaotic travel day yesterday with delayed flights, United canceling my downstream flights when I was forced to buy a […]
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Day 638 and Environment
We’ve had an unseasonably warm week in the Gallatin Valley. We pulled out our two air conditioners from the window installations and went to Costco to install our snow tires. Both activities felt a little bit ridiculous as the temperatures touched 80 degrees. But finally this morning the last bits of summer felt like they […]
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Day 621 and Pain’s Anxiety
Before I was diagnosed with my spinal condition ankylosing spondylitis, I didn’t really understand that I was in pain. I know that sounds weird, but I just knows I felt like shit. I hadn’t yet pinpoint the origins of the crisis in my own body. I was a stranger to myself. Back then getting a […]
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Day 580 and Feeling Normal
I had quite a case of insomnia last night. Eventually around 1am I caved and took a sleeping pill. I am so glad I did as I slept straight through till noon today. And I woke up feeling, dare I say it, almost normal. I felt better than normal. I actually felt good. Clearly I […]
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Day 559 and Stuck
I got stuck on the couch today. I’m not entirely sure why but I’m in the middle of a massive symptom flare. The pain is so acute and unrelenting that if I so much as sit up from bed I’ll get stuck in that position. I made the mistake of trying to eat lunch on […]
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Day 556 and Histamines
I am so itchy my entire body is covered in yellow and purple bruises from my attempts to generate some form of relief. I set out title tag this post with “itchy” but apparently I did that three days ago. That makes me feel super fucked as I honestly don’t even remember writing it. It’s […]